Paved With Bad Intentions
by Courier999
Summary: The year is 1947. Ignacio Pacheco is a private eye looking for the one big case that'll let him retire in comfort when he gets a call from a man named Lennox Macduff about some stolen property. From there, Ignacio is dragged down the rabbit hole into a world of conspiracies and subterfuge. Rated T for violence, language, and mature themes. Set in Earth-H continuity. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

GARGOYLES: Paved With Bad Intentions

 _Gargoyles_ and related characters are property of Disney. _X-Men_ and related characters are property of Marvel. The character of Ignacio Pacheco is my property. This is part of the Earth-H continuity.

Chapter 1: The Hook

NEW YORK CITY- 1947:

"It's for you, Mister Pacheco." a secretary announced.

Ignacio Pacheco nodded as he took the phone.

"Pacheco and Sunderland Detective Agency. This is Ignacio Pacheco speaking."

" _Hello there, Mister Pacheco. My name is Lennox Macduff, and I wish to report a robbery._ "

"What was stolen from you?"

" _A gargoyle statue from late 10th century Scotland and some rare books. You will be handsomely rewarded for retrieving them._ "

"Where do you want to meet?"

" _The Onyx Club. I'll be paying your cover fee._ "

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

If you're wondering, Ignacio Pacheco is in fact related to Rio from my _Jem_ fanfics, as Ignacio is Rio's paternal grandfather. Also, this is going to be a venture into one of my favorite styles- noir fiction.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Meeting With Macduff

" _You had plenty money, 1922. You let other women make a fool of you_ …" one of the club's singers crooned.

Ignacio looked his client over. Macduff looked to be in his early fifties, with a full head of gray hair, a similarly-colored beard, and a dark blue three-piece suit.

"So, how much are we talking in payment? I'm a private eye, and I expect to be compensated for my services."

"We'll discuss your pay after you reclaim my statue." Macduff answered.

Ignacio nearly choked on his whiskey.

"Okay, wise guy. If that's the way you're going to play it, at least tell me what's so important about your statue!"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"It's an actual gargoyle."

"Wartime souvenir, huh? Can't say that I blame ya. After all, I got a fancy sword off a dead enemy officer back in the Pacific around '44- looks nice above my mantelpiece."

Macduff groaned in irritation and downed a glass of scotch.

"Moving on from the statue, the books are perhaps the more important items I need reclaimed."

"What's so important about the books? I mean, apart from the cash value."

"They're tomes of arcane lore."

"I didn't catch that, Mister Macduff."

"They're spellbooks containing information regarding very powerful magic! Depending on who's got them, the fate of the world might be in the balance!"

Ignacio blinked.

"Seems like you've been reading too many comic books and pulp magazines. Do they have _Doctor Occult_ up in Scotland?"

"I'm being serious here!"

"Look, just tell me how much I'm getting paid for this and I'll go looking for your statue and books."

"$50,000."

Ignacio's jaw dropped.

"You're pulling my leg!"

"I'm not."

Ignacio paused for a brief moment.

"Okay then- let's start at the beginning. Who do you think would want to take those items?"

"If I had to guess, my best bet would be the Inner C-"

Macduff cut himself off.

"The Inner what?"

"The Inner Circle."

"Of what?"

Macduff scribbled a note onto a napkin and passed it to Ignacio.

 _The Hellfire Club, you idiot!_ it read.

"What are you talking about?"

Macduff groaned.

"They're a high-end social club, and their leadership has a thing for chess motifs."

"And they're a concern for me _why_?"

"Each member of the Inner Circle has got more money than the Rothschilds could ever dream of, plus the accompanying clout in both business and government. That enough for you?"

Ignacio nodded vigorously.

"Sounds like they're the last people who should get their hands on things like those." he piped up.

"Trust me when I say you're right on that count. Let's not even think about what else they're up to- Lord only knows what pies they've got fingers in nowadays."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: On The Trail

" _And this is Travis Campbell, from WHN. And now, some music. This one's for my mom- back during the war, she carried around a piece. It's Bing Crosby and the Andrew Sisters, with their hit song_ 'Pistol Packin' Mama' _._ "

Ignacio looked out the window of his car as the song played, mentally going over what he was going to ask of his best lead in the case. That lead was waiting for him in Central Park, and he wasn't fond of being kept waiting.

* * *

"Have a seat."

Ignacio sat down on the park bench and eyed the man next to him. The man had a wiry physique, and his auburn hair had been styled into a pompadour. A paper bag full of birdseed sat next to him.

"Good to see you too, Joel."

"Business or pleasure?"

"Business. I need to know if you've handled any hot merchandise recently."

"What sort of merchandise?"

With that, Joel turned to face his questioner, his eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses.

"Books and a gargoyle statue."

Joel paused for a moment.

"Got 'em in an old warehouse in the Meatpacking District. Got a prospective buyer, too. Calls herself the White Queen."

"When's the buyer coming?"

"Just before sundown tonight."

"Good. Now I need the address of the warehouse."

Joel handed Ignacio a piece of paper.

"Here you go, you old gumshoe."

* * *

A FEW HOURS LATER:

Ignacio was waiting in the warehouse behind some crates when he saw the doors open.

" _Mister Valentine, I do not like to be kept waiting._ " a woman demanded.

" _Hold your horses, lady! Let me show you the merchandise first!_ " Joel replied.

" _Make it quick. I've got to be in Boston soon._ "

Ignacio reached into his coat pocket and removed a Minox camera from it.

" _And here we have the books. See if you can make heads or tails of 'em, because I sure can't!_ "

" _Name your price._ "

" _$2,000._ "

" _And the statue?_ "

" _$4,000._ "

" _Deal. Mister McDonough, give Mister Valentine his money-_ "

Just then, there was the sound of a shotgun being cocked.

" _Hands up, all of you! This is a sting operation!_ " another woman yelled, her voice carrying a distinctive British accent.

Ignacio watched as a woman wearing a red hat and brandishing a shotgun walked out towards the sight of the deal.

" _You!_ " the first woman hissed.

" _I should have known that you'd be behind this, Lizzie. You doing this for yourself or for Shaw?_ "

" _Suck a lemon, Carter! You don't want the Inner Circle for an enemy!_ "

While this was going on, nobody noticed that the statue was cracking up. Within seconds, the stone had disintegrated, and a blue-skinned gargoyle with red hair was standing in the statue's place.

" _Um…_ " Joel piped up when he saw the statue was missing.

" _SHUT UP!_ " 'Lizzie' bellowed.

Ignacio's attention was so fixed on the scene playing out before him that he failed to notice the gargoyle looming up behind him until he felt its hot breath on the back of his neck.

"What th-"

The private eye felt his feet leave the floor as a powerful figure lifted him up by the neck.

"Who- or what- are you?!" he sputtered.

"I am a gargoyle, but you may call me Demona!"

"Pleasure meeting you." Ignacio snarked.

"Liar! You're no doubt working for Valentine and the Hellfire Club- why else would you be skulking about in the shadows!"

"Macduff…" Ignacio wheezed.

Demona let the gumshoe fall to the floor with a resounding thud.

"What do you know of 'Macduff'?" she demanded.

"He's paying me fifty grand to get his books and gargoyle statue back."

Demona hoisted Ignacio back up by the neck.

"As much as it pains me to say this to a human, you're but a pawn in something far greater. Had you any awareness of what was really going on, I'd snap your neck like a twig."

"What're you going to do to me instead?"

"I'll let the White Queen deal with you."

Demona threw the hapless detective like a javelin and smirked as he landed flat on his back.

* * *

"Hey! What's he doing here?!" one of the White Queen's goons yelled upon seeing Ignacio.

Joel began to make a run for it as the goon drew out a Thompson gun from his coat. At that moment, Ignacio rose up from the floor and drew his revolver. From her hiding spot among the crates, Demona grinned as Ignacio, the White Queen's goons, and Carter were engaged in a Mexican standoff.

"Who are you?" the White Queen asked.

"I'm Sam Spade." Ignacio snapped.

"Goody. A private dick." one of the goons replied.

The White Queen paused for a moment.

"McDonough, play our friend here a tune on your violin."

Ignacio froze like a deer in the headlights as McDonough readied his gun.

"Say your prayers, bud!"

As if on cue, McDonough fell to the floor, clutching his knee and caterwauling in pain. Standing behind him was Carter, wielding her shotgun like a club.

"Come on! Let's scarper before Lizzie and her palookas start shooting!"

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Yes, Margaret "Peggy" Carter has an Earth-H version. However, she's working as a G-man- albeit an "off-the-books" one- as opposed to SSR. And for anyone in the back of the class snickering about McDonough calling Ignacio a "private dick", the term is 20th century slang for a private detective. I say 20th century as opposed to 1940s as the term was used as late as 1971 in the theme for the blaxploitation movie _Shaft_.

And if you're wondering why Ignacio called himself "Sam Spade", it's a period-appropriate pop culture reference- namely to the main character of _The Maltese Falcon_ , one of the most influential noir movies ever made. Also, if you don't know what a Minox camera is, it's a miniature camera associated with classic spy fiction.


End file.
